I wish...

...I could take her pain away.

It seems that in life it is not only your children you want to protect from bad things. Apparently this is true for all important people in your life. You want to wrap them up in your arms and hug it away. Try and make them laugh. Keep their minds off of it. Cry with them when that isn't possible. Beat up (actually my imagination runs wild at what I would like to do to this person but I'm trying to be blogger friendly) the culprit. Take them ice cream and Kleenex. Think of the perfect words to make it all better. Sit there in silence if necessary. However, there is no magic cure. Unfortunately that ol' cliche "Time will heal all" comes into play more than most of us would like.

Just know that you are loved and I am here, my friend, until time has done it's thing.

Oh Christmas Tree...

I wasn't going to blog about my holiday weekend because the grouchy teen and I had a big showdown on Thanksgiving day that ended with us spending our day in separate venues. The showdown involved the typical mother versus teen scenario. I am apparently unreasonable and he is of course selfish. It is a fight as old as time itself, I am sure. However, on very rare, I'm talking when pigs fly and the moon is blue occasions, it just happens....

We put up the tree every year on the Sunday after Thanksgiving. This year was no different except for Bug Juice had a birthday party to attend which involved swimming in the middle of November (heated pool at the Y...no I am not an entirely negligent parent!) so she couldn't leave us to deal with the tree fast enough. With a tree ready to be trimmed, the grouchy teen and I spent one of the most perfect evenings doing so. We started with the many, many, many lights I bought. This was quite and ordeal I assure you. Something about making sure all the plugs are in the right order so that it will plug up with the next strand can be mind boggling, but with a little laughing and maybe a few (close your eyes on this part, mom) under the breath profanities we managed. We then did the garland and finally the best part...THE ORNAMENTS!!

"This one is 19 years-old, mom!!" he says as if it was from the days of dinosaurs walking the earth.

It was the one of a penguin driving a convertible and was given to me by one of my favorite people to commemorate the year I turned sixteen. There is also the one from the year before of a mouse on a bird with a sign that says "flying South" because she knew how much I loved going home to Georgia and the one from the year after of the volleyball-playing moose. I wonder if she knows how much we think of her at Christmas when we pull these out of the ornament box.

I would also like to take a moment here to thank Hallmark for putting the year of the ornament for all grouchy teens to see and for giving them yet another moment to tease their mothers.

It was a special night that he and I got to share together and it makes all the parent/teen battles vanish into then air when these kind of times happen.

A little bit of magic...

Music.

It is the most magical thing.

A song can take you back in time. A song can remind you so strongly of someone that it can take your breath away. A song can bring back a memory so vivid that you swear you were there. A song can leave you crying, laughing, wishing, mourning, at peace.

I have many, many songs that take me to these places. A song about the sun and the rain reminds me of my mother. Another about the light in the darkness...my sisters. A song about a bullfrog of the best teacher I've ever had. A song about not being able to lose me...the kids. I won't bore you with the extremely long list.

This new one was linked to me by my sister because it reminded her of me. The thing is....it reminds ME of me. At least how I want to be...accepting of whatever is to happen. I love you, little sister. Here's to hoping...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yJ5DbKEgScs

Things Forgotten....

I've been so obsessed with this birthday coming up that I have forgotten that there are other things to look forward to this month. Stuffing. Friends coming home for the holidays. Christmas decorations start going up. I think the kids and I will have a real tree this year. Stuffing. Some time off from work to spend with family. Stuffing. Towards the end of the month we might get to break out the scarves. OOoooo I love scarves!! My mom usually makes me a carrot cake at some point. Stuffing. The River will start playing Christmas music and I will get to hear Kenny Loggins "Celebrate Me Home" a few hundred times. Good thing it's my favorite. Stuffing. Even my grumpy teenage son gets a little more chipper this time of year. This is going to be fun and did I mention stuffing??

Another "me" moment...

So I locked myself out of my computer today. Yes, it is possible. I had to have my computer reformatted a few months ago because I trusted someone I shouldn't have (chalk that up to lessons learned) and changed the password.

I usually look for something on my desk and make it my password (no worries...I will no longer be using this method so tis okay to tell you) so since 8 am this morning I have been sitting here trying to remember it.

Candles? No.
Matches? No.
Pen? Pencil? No. No.

I'm looking all around the desk...my room...what is that spot on the wall? Wall? No. Spot? No.

Seashell? No.
Paper Flowers? No.
Straw? No.
Ribbon? No.

Ewww! Its time for me to repaint my toenails! Toenails? No.

Charger? No.
Postcard? No.

I do the puzzle on the back of my cereal box as I weep for my rotten cheesecakes in Cafe World. Cereal? No. Chex? No.

Medicine? No.
Both kids names...forward and backwards? No. No. No. No.

What if the password isn't on my desk anymore because Ive cleaned it off?? I slap my forehead! Forehead? No.

I forward a few Never-Show-Your-Mother pictures to some friends via my phone. Cellphone? No. Cell? No. Phone? No.

Necklace? No.
Earrings? No.

I hear what my imagination believes to be a GIANT CRASH! So thinking I am being taken over by burglars, I put down the cereal box and go see what it was. My razor fell in my shower. Shower? No. Razor? No.

About to pull my hair out at this point I decide to send a S.O.S. email also via my phone (dang, those things come in handy! Don't they??). The recipient of this email calls me and I can actually hear is eyes rolling at me, for I get myself in these messes every now and then. After the speech about writing things down, and using all the options the computer gives you to help you not forget your password, he calms me down. He then gives me a link to a website that will let me download a program onto a CD that will let me reset my password.

I then have to call the ex-bestie, who laughs it up, Har! Har! HAR!! but downloads the program on the CD for me and even runs it over in the rain! And it only cost me a plate of food at dinner time!! Thanks, ex-bestie!

The program runs for 10 minutes then says password not found. Sigh. However, it does allow me on the Internet. And now that we have decided to reformat my computer, I have called in a ticket for my ceiling fan because its noisy (you notice a lot of noises when you are sitting around thinking), I've accepted my kitchen in Cafe World can be cleaned tomorrow, and I was able to blog....I am at peace once again with all my hair intact.

Technology. Cant live without it. Who knew??

From Sweet Chunky Bumblebees to Monsters...

She once was a lion. I remember one time her dad and I worked for an entire week on her costume. She was a traffic light. She lit up and everything! We made it out of a giant box and she would tip over with her little feet kicking in the air. Oh, how I would laugh while she would look at me in disbelief. Ahahaha...even then the cliche mother/daughter relationship had begun! There were princesses and fairies and even a witch one year. Though it was the cutest witch...with the striped little tights!

"No, mom! I want to be scary this year! No more bumblebees and my hair being curled!" she says to me. I look at her and think where did my baby go....

"But you are so adorable! One more year!" I plead.

"Nope. I want to be the monster from the movie The Ring. Dad told me how I can do my hair like hers and it will be really cool!" she says. Her mind made up.

Uuuuuuggghhh that man. Sometimes I would like to sick a monster on him! I type that with much fondness but I am rolling my eyes!

I will just have to be glad she wants to be a monster and not a low cut top, mini skirt wearing nurse or something. When that year comes...Lord, help me.

35....

The fact that one of my favorite people is having surgery this week and the big 35 being a few weeks away has me thinking about getting older and death here lately. I’m not obsessing about it or being morbid….just the average run of the mill kind of things. I’m seeing more gray hairs and a wrinkle or two. Things hurt a little longer than they used to. I have to hold my arms straight above my head if I want my boobs to be where they used to be. I could go on and on but I will spare all of you....

I look at my parents and think “Ok maybe they aren’t invincible superheroes!” This scares me a little…

35 is really freaking me out. I have set a few of my “must be done by this age or it’s not going to happen” deadlines for 35. 35…allow me to say it one more time…35. I am not vain, I do not mind the idea of getting older but sometimes when I’m sitting in that minivan and I’m wondering about one of the kids needing new shoes and how much is the utility bill going to run me this month and what in the world will I cook for dinner I truly understand those commercials where the women are screaming “Calgon take me away!” and long for my younger days.

I digress. Old age is inevitable. I guess the only thing I should concern myself with at this point is if I should be cremated or pick out a wig, because no mortician will be able to do anything with this hair.