Here we go...

This week the Bug has found her...I can not find the words...give me a second...I will say whatever I want so I can hurt you because you are my mother voice, for lack of a better term. I have been preparing myself for this, but yeah...

On Wednesday night she put my dining room chair through the plasma television. Since she can't move the couch or chair in the living room she uses a dining room chair when she is playing the Wii.

Me: "I have told you a thousand times to stop making the chair rock. Now stop before you break your arm, or worse the chair."

Bug: "Funny, mom."

Me: "I do not have the money to replace it when you break it! I'm not trying to be funny!"

Bug: "The table has scratches on it anyway. A new one would be good."

This does not phase me. She is typically a smart @$$. (ha! Like my mother can't figure symbols out. It makes me feel more respectful, don't judge!)

Me: "Stop it or you can sit on the floor!"

I will warp us to 2 hours later in the evening. A hysterical Bug comes in my room crying the chair finally fell over and through the TV. I politely ask her to go to her room. I then call her dad and inform him in a raving lunatic rage that I am going to kill her. He says that even though a deduction in child support payments would be nice, he can't allow this and somewhat calms me down.

The next night I give her her sentence and she completely loses it. I mean full blown crazy. I will just do a nutshell version for you.

Bug: "I AM A GOOD KID! I NEVER GET IN TROUBLE! I ALWAYS LISTEN TO WHAT YOU SAY! I HATE YOU!"

The last part throws me but I do not let her know this...

Me: "Good. It means I'm doing my job right."

Bug: "I WILL DO EVERY CHORE ON THE LIST THEN I'M GOING TO LIVE WITH DAD!"

Me: "No you're not."

Bug: "THEN I WILL RUN AWAY!"

Me: "Can you fold a load of clothes first?" (Sidenote: I slept with my bedroom door locked and haven't decided if I will be getting rid of the kitchen knives or not.)

She runs up to her room, slamming her door and proceeds to makes sounds resembling a howling dog until she falls asleep. I call my mother and apologized for every hateful thing I said to her when I was a kid.

In her defense she did come to me the next day and apologize saying she didn't mean it. I accepted and told her she is most certainly allowed to hate me, it will be natural over the next few years, but the next time she says it out loud she will be grounded until Hannah Montana (c'mon I had to use a reference she would understand, there you go judging again!) had grandchildren.